


I'm Not

by everythingisalot



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drunkenness, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, M/M, Strangers to Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-22 17:55:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9618680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingisalot/pseuds/everythingisalot
Summary: Dan isn't drunk, Phil doesn't believe him and it pretty much just goes from there.





	1. Chapter 1

''I'm not drunk, 'm not.'' Dan was collapsed over the toilet, the toilet of some random stranger who had invited him to a party that had gotten out of hand hours ago. 

''Alright.'' Phil agreed. He shut the door behind him, because spending the next ten minutes with a boy who looked like he was about to drown in toilet water was preferable over what was happening out there.

''Not gonna throw up either.'' Drunk boy was still arguing with Phil, even though Phil had agreed. 

''Course not, you just like sitting like that. Chairs are overrated, I agree, I was actually going to sit with my face in the toilet, but you beat me to it.'' He bit back the laugh threatening to spill out when the man looked up him, the glare he was receiving may have been intimidating if it weren't so glassy. 

''Who-'' The sick came then, cutting off the obvious question.

''Phil.'' He answered it anyway. 

''Dan.'' The reply came a few seconds later, then a few seconds after that Dan promptly passed out. 

Phil always ended up in situations like this, always the carer, always the sensible one. He rescued Dan from falling head first into his own sick, pulling him back until he was propped up against the bathtub. He wasn't dead, which was always a relief.

Wasn't there something about making sure people didn't choke on their own tongue? Before he could really think about it he was putting his fingers into the mouth of a complete stranger and--

''Ouch!'' There were suddenly teeth, suddenly teeth that were clamped down hard on his skin. ''Let go, fucking hell.'' Dan did after a few seconds, but not before he bit down just that tiny bit harder.

Phil felt betrayed, pulling his hand back and cradling his throbbing finger against his chest. ''What was that for? I was helping you!''

''Don't like strangers putting their fingers in my mouth, lucky it wasn't something else.'' Dan was apparently able to speak now and Phil immediately learned he was a cheeky bastard. 

''You passed out.'' Phil looked down, could see the teeth marks in his skin and he decided it'd leave a mark for a least a week. ''After being sick because you were drunk, you know, the two things you were protesting against.''

''Don't remember.'' Dan was attempting to get himself to his feet and Phil could see it coming before it happened. Dan had grabbed onto the shower curtain, was using it to pull himself up and then becoming tangled up in it once it fell down. 

''That obviously wasn't going to work.'' Phil sighed, somehow already knowing he was going to be in for an incredibly long night. ''And you've just ruined the bathroom of whoever lives here. Can I help you, Dan, or are you going to bite me again?'' 

''Fuck you.'' He looked so pathetic. Dan was all twisted up in mermaid patterned shower curtain, sick dribbled onto his chin, one of his shoelaces was undone and Phil, as always, was the idiot who took it upon himself to look after him. 

''Maybe later, but for now-'' He took care of Dan's shoelace first, the thing furthest away from those sharp teeth. ''Dan, I'm going to help you up, 'kay? After that you're going to have to run before you get charged for the fact you've half ripped the actual shower curtain rail from the ceiling.'' 

''I did?'' Dan twisted into a position that looked less than comfortable, staring up at the ceiling with a small gasp and then back at Phil. ''Was you. You did that.'' 

''No, you did that, you gigantic idiot.'' He managed to rescue Dan from the mermaids, though part of his head was screaming at him to just leave Dan there for an easier life. 

He'd never liked easy.

''Phil!'' Dan burst out, looking rather proud of himself. ''I remembered. Phil, you broke this bathroom with your big fingers.''

''Oh, so that's why you bit me. Just protecting the bathroom.'' He hoisted Dan up onto his feet, giving him a few seconds to get used to being vertical again. ''Think you can walk for me?'' 

''I'm twenty.'' Dan stated, as thought that meant literally anything right now. 

''Well done, really, i'm twenty-four.'' Maybe talking would distract Dan. ''And I need you to walk with me.'' They managed to take a few steps forwards before he turned pale. ''Or be sick again, that's good, too.''

''Sorry.'' Dan actually looked sheepish for the first time that night, maybe that was because the sick was on Phil's shoes this time. 

''I hate you. I should've left you with the mermaids.'' He still kept on, still assisted Dan out of the flat and into the rain. 

-

''Just tell me your address so I can take you home, please.'' Phil was soaked. He'd lent Dan his jacket because he looked frozen, and in return Dan was giving him absolutely nothing. 

''Don't know.'' Dan repeated for the tenth time, looking at Phil like he was the stupid one in this situation. 

''Oh my god, out of all the drunks in all the bathrooms in the world.. I get lumped with you.'' Phil gave up then, decided that if he was going to have any chance at getting home before three he was going to have to let a wet drunk boy tagalong with him. 

''I like your jacket.'' Dan had apparently been ignoring him, instead intensely focused on the pattern printed on the material. ''I think i'll keep it.'' 

''Will you now?'' He started walking again, listened to the whines of protest that started to follow him down the empty street. 

''You're walking too quick! This isn't a race.'' He paused for a second then, rethinking. ''Is it? Oh my god, is this a race? I can't run, Phil, help me.''

''You-- no, Dan, this isn't a race. It's just raining and I really, really want to get home.'' He grabbed Dan's hand then, opting to drag him along. ''How are you so warm?'' Phil asked, baffled. ''It's cold and raining and I feel like i'm holding hands with a radiator.'' 

He got silence in return, complete and utter silence. Oh god, had Dan actually died? Was he dragging a dead body down the street?

''Da--'' He turned around, the sight he was faced with making him soften. Dan was staring down, wide-eyed, at their joint hands as a blush crept up his cheeks. It was oddly sweet and Phil left him be. It was the quietest he'd been all night, and they really were making great time. 

Dan only snapped out of the trance when he realised he was inside. ''I don't live here.''

''Oh, hello, welcome back.'' Phil was taking off his shoes, they'd began to squelch a couple of blocks ago and he knew he was going to have to find the money for another pair. ''Nope, you don't, this is my flat. You wouldn't tell me where you lived.''

Dan seemed to accept it, simply nodding as he made his way to where he assumed the kitchen to be. ''Crisps?''

''What?'' Phil had followed, watching Dan drip rain water all the way through his flat. ''You want crisps?''

''Mhm, hungry.'' He was opening every cupboard he could, getting more and more frustrated by the second when he realised maybe his new passionate dream wasn't going to come true; He just really wanted crisps. 

''Dan! Stop it, you're being so loud and I really like living here. Wait there and i'll get you some.'' He yanked Dan back from where he was about to open up his fridge, instead plonking him down at the breakfast bar. ''What flavour.''

''All of them.''

''All of the flavours, of course.'' Phil shook his head, bending down to root through his food cupboard. 

''Nice bum.'' Dan was closer, Phil could feel it and as pretty as Dan definitely was he was also so drunk that he couldn't even remember his own address. 

''Nope, we're doing that anytime soon.'' He thrust the multi-pack bag of crisps into Dan's hand, letting him make the all important flavour choice. ''There.''

''Finally.'' He seemed to easily forget his previous line of thought, vanishing from Phil's sight the second his back was turned. 

He found him on his sofa, a wet lump covered in crisp and soundly asleep. He snored. Phil filmed him for a second before draping a blanket over his body, not feeling up to waking him so he could remove the damp jeans. 

''Night, idiot.''


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEyooo! let's still pretend i don't have two other fics i haven't looked at in forever and accept i can only sadly focus on 1 thing at a time

''He actually stole your jacket?'' Pj laughed as he scrolled through the list of recommended friends on facebook, waiting for Phil to tell him he recognised one of them as the jacket thief. 

''Yes! He was drunk last night, thought he was just being a petulant brat, but apparently.. nope, actually had a fully formed plan to steal my jacket. It wasn't even cheap, stop laughing at me.'' Phil elbowed him, a bit too hard in retrospect. 

''Look, Phil, no luck here. Apparently just because we attend the same uni, doesn't mean I can magically have a mutual friend with him. You know how many people go here? Thousands! Maybe there are at least seventeen jacket thieves attending, at the very minimum.'' Pj shut his laptop, offering a shrug that didn't really convey anything but an aura of smugness; PJ knew to stay away from the drunken messes. 

''I hate him.'' Phil groaned, pulling his useless, thin jacket tighter around his body as he braced himself to go back out into the cold. ''He came into my flat, he stole my crisps and then my jacket! Who just does that, Peej? I thought i'd wake up to him still snoring on the sofa, or at the very least he'd have disappeared with his tail between his legs, but my jacket, my lovely, innocent, jacket, would've been left behind.'' 

''Sometimes I think you should've done acting rather than english, you've certainly got a flair for the dramatics.'' PJ was standing up now and putting his laptop back into his bag, a sure sign that he'd had enough. ''Home time for you. Who knows, maybe he'll have attempted to post it through the letterbox.'' 

''Haha.''

-

Phil was asleep, so very nearly asleep that he was sure he was dreaming the noise. 

After the noise went on for another two minutes he decided maybe not, maybe it was real.

''I'm coming, i'm coming.'' He muttered, wondering if it was PJ and he had news about the jacket thief and oh--

''You stole my jacket.'' He accused, the boy having the audacity to return to the scene of the crime was almost impressive. Almost. 

''You're not wearing any jeans.'' He was smirking, but he was also holding out Phil's jacket in his hands, offering it up like an apology. ''I didn't steal it, as such, I just forgot I was wearing it and I had a really, really early lecture and yeah-- anyway, what i'm saying is, I borrowed it and now you can have it back. Didn't really suit my.. style. Bit bright, bit not waterproof. It was raining really hard today.''

''You stole it.'' Phil huffed, snatching it back before Dan changed his mind. ''You stole it, and that's why it rained so much. Karma.'' 

''I didn't steal it. Honestly. The moment I realised I still had it on, I knew i'd return it. So, here I am, returning it.'' The smirk had turned into a smile, it was quite a nice smile, really, for a thief. ''I didn't mean it. Promise.''

''Fine, Daniel. You did steal my crisps though.'' He wasn't sure what to do now, he was fully aware he was half naked and didn't really have full charge of the situation.

''Don't call me Daniel, it's bit dramatic.'' He was leaning in the doorway now, looking far too relaxed for the situation. ''Anyway. Hey. I'm Dan. I did steal your crisps, but I didn't steal your jacket. Thanks for not letting me die in a bathroom and thanks for feeding me. It's nice to meet you.''

He was holding out a hand, Phil knew, in his mind, that he was supposed to shake it but his body wasn't really co-operating.

''Or not.'' Dan's hand dropped, as did the smile. ''I--'' He looked unsure of himself now, reaching up the run a hand through damp hair. ''Right. I- jacket. You've got it back. Sorry for bothering you last night and then today. I'll just be off--'' 

He was turning to leave, Phil was blurting out words that he'd not given his mouth permission to actually say. ''Do you maybe want to come in?''

Dan's smile was back, brighter than before and managing to brighten up the dark hallway of the apartment building. ''Are you sure?'' He was inching closer without hearing the answer, back to Phil's doorway before Phil could so much as blink.

''I'm sure, yeah.'' Phil took a step back, arm held out in a gesture on invitation. 

''Thanks, it's still raining a lot outside and now I don't have a jacket to walk home in.'' He admitted, eyes darting around Phil's flat, taking in everything that he hadn't been able to whilst he was drunk. ''Phil--'' He murmured, eyes fixated on the pair of shoes next to the door. ''Was I sick on you?''

''A bit, yeah. I guess the whiteness does resemble that of a toilet, maybe you just got a bit confused.'' He teased, shutting the door once Dan was inside and wondering what the hell he was supposed to do with him now. 

''Fuck. I'm sorry. I don't usually get quite like that.'' Phil could tell Dan was debating whether or not to tell the story behind his behaviour last night, could see the struggle on his face. 

''It's alright, honestly.'' It wasn't, but Dan looked so genuinely upset by it that he couldn't bring himself to say otherwise. 

''I just--'' Phil watched Dan have a last quiet word with himself, watched him pull his sleeves down over his hands and then watched him walk over to the sofa he'd spent the night on. ''I kinda fucked up all my exams and decided the only way to deal with that was to get into the state I was in last night.''

Phil joined him, giving Dan a pat on the knee and then immediately wondering why he'd thought that was a comforting gesture. ''You can retake, right? I mean, you're first year and they're not all that major. First year results don't even count towards your final grades, Dan, you literally just have to pass.'' 

''I know, but if i'm failing first year exams what am I going to be like in the next couple of years with stuff that's actually harder?'' He argued, tone turning a little petulant. 

Phil blew out a breath, because Dan really did have a point there. ''Change course? I mean, no harm in that. If you're not enjoying something there's plenty more options.''

''Maybe. I don't know. Maybe uni just isn't for me, you know? I leave everything until last minute even if it's something i'm actually looking forward to doing.'' Dan looked a lot smaller than he had last night, tucked in on himself and a frown seeming to make a permanent home on his face. 

''You've got a bit of time to think about it, yeah? Really do think about it, cos you don't want to make yourself miserable for three years. A degree really isn't everything, I mean, i'm not even doing anything with my English degree.'' Phil didn't mention he'd progressed onto a masters, not when Dan currently seemed so anti-education. 

''Yeah. Anyway, enough about that.'' Dan seemed to remember that Phil was technically a stranger who probably didn't want to hear every single problem he'd ever faced. ''Do you maybe wanna go put something on your bottom half?''

Phil then remembered he was half dressed and sat with a boy he didn't know, a boy he was probably making uncomfortable. ''Yup. I will go do that right now.''

-

''So he just like woofed at you in the street?'' Dan was laughing now, the complete opposite of his earlier mood. Phil decided he'd like to make Dan laugh a lot, it was too much of a nice noise to go unused. 

''Yes! I don't know, I like attract the weirdest people.'' Phil shot Dan a look, getting a swat on his arm in reply. 

''You're the one who barged into the bathroom which was definitely already occupied. So maybe actually I attracted you, maybe you're the weird person in this story.'' Dan pointed out. Phil accepted the accusation easily, hands up in the air in surrender. 

''Maybe I did, maybe it's a good job I did.'' It'd been a good couple of hours since Dan had turned up, they'd progressed from the uni issues conversation onto anything and everything. They'd not stopped speaking, Dan desperate to hear all of Phil's stories and Phil desperate to have Dan continue to look at him like that. Like he was interesting, worthy of his attention. 

''Yeah.'' Dan agreed, soft smile and an even softer voice. ''It's good.'' His cheeks were pink and Phil wondered--

''Oh, shit, is that the time?'' He was jumping up off the sofa, shoving his shoes back on and reaching for the jacket before he realised it wasn't his and dropped his hand back down to his side. 

''Take it, Dan, I'm not cruel enough to let you walk back in just a t-shirt. You'll just have to bring it back next time.'' Phil definitely hadn't been waiting, wishing, for an excuse to invite Dan back here. 

''Right. Yeah. Next time.'' Dan was facing away from him, but Phil could hear the smile in his voice. 

-

Next time turned out to be a couple of days later, Dan was back on his doorstep and the jacket was once again handed over. ''I actually wore my own today, too. My reputation of wearing only dark colours was really, really going down the drain.''

''Oh, wow, i'm so very sorry for ruining your obviously vastly known reputation. I knew i'd heard of you before, how could I not have pieced it together? You're obviously the man in black who lurks around, looking cool.'' Phil was already stepping back, gesturing for Dan to come inside because the other day had been fun and he'd not been waiting for him to knock again. He hadn't.

''Ah, sorry. I actually can't stop by today. I have to go and meet my boyfriend, so, yeah. Another time? I mean, definitely another time, Phil, cos I need to hear more stories. I'll bring pizza.'' Dan looked hopeful, so Phil nodded.

''Sure-- yeah, another time. That's fine. Have fun with your.. boyfriend.''


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quicker update, cos i'm supposed to be doing uni work which is always motivation to write this instead. enjoy! (hopefully) also here comes the mario kart that has never been included in a fic ever before, right :/? also, once you reach the end of this chapter, you'll see this is just a test to see how many au (clichés?) i can fit into one fic

''You know Dan?'' Phil was sprawled out across Pj's bed after Dan had stopped by and revealed he wouldn't be staying Phil hadn't felt like spending the night alone. He didn't know why he felt how he felt, he'd only spent a handful of hours with the man and for half of those hours, Dan had been drunk. Drunk and throwing up on his shoes. 

''Jacket thief?'' He asked, spinning on his desk chair, eyes landing on the sorry looking figure of Phil Lester. ''Did you ever get it back? Did he flee the country?''

''Yeah, I got it back.'' Phil was speaking into the bedsheets, his voice muffled and barely understandable. He was being pathetic, he knew it, yet he couldn't seem to snap himself out of it. ''Then I gave it to him again, then he gave it back. Again.'' He turned onto his front, meeting Pj's unmoved look. 

''Right.'' Pj shook his head, throwing a screwed up piece of paper in Phil's direction. It hit him directly on the forehead, Phil didn't even blink. ''Oh my god, don't tell me you're getting attached to him or something.'' 

''No!'' He protested too quickly, effectively giving himself away. ''No, I mean, he's just nice. He's funny when he's not pissed and being sick.'' 

''And stealing.'' Pj added.

''Shutup. He said he didn't mean to, said he forgot he was wearing it. He did bring it back, pretty much, straight away.'' The look he was receiving was getting worse, apparently, Pj could see straight him. ''I don't like him, not like that. He's got a boyfriend anyway.'' He shrugged. The casualness he was going for being completely evaded because his tone suggested that he was definitely bitter about the entire thing. 

''A boyfriend, huh?'' Pj spun back around in his chair, finding Dan on facebook was much easier now that the photos from the party had been uploaded. ''C'mere.'' He waited until he could feel Phil practically breathing down his neck. ''This is Dan, yeah?''

''That's him. Oh my god, I forgot how much of a wreck he looked that night.'' He was all glassy eyed, sweat on his forehead, beer in his hand that was threatening to spill out everywhere. ''No wonder he couldn't remember his address.'' 

''Yeah, he looks a right pretty picture.'' Pj teased, clicking through a couple of things before landing on the profile of the boyfriend. ''Hm, objectively, you're better than him.''

''Pj! Drop it, I said I wasn't interested in him like that and I meant it, yeah? He's four years younger than me anyway.'' He leaned in, taking control of the mouse and shutting the window altogether. He couldn't stand the smiling faces of Dan and his boyfriend staring at him like that. 

''Of course, you're not. You just like Dan as a friend, who also happens to be your type. You know, the exact type of bloke you've gone for every single time.'' Pj was wrestling for control of the mouse because Phil was dragging it ever closed to the shutdown button, and he had a pile of unsaved work on there. ''Every single time we go out and you're like.. wow, look at that brown haired, brown eyed main in the corner. I love him, I want his babies and I want a dog with him and--'' 

''I hate you.'' Phil gave up, dropping the mouse in exchange for picking up his bag. 

''No you don't.'' Pj was quickly saving his work just in case Phil decided to go for it again. He was sneaky. 

''Do. You're the worst friend.'' Those were his parting words, door slamming shut and leaving behind it a bemused Pj. 

-

Hey, is this Phil?

That's would be me. Who's this?

Dan! Hey, sorry, I got your number from Chris. I just wondered if you wanted to maybe do something tonight? I know I couldn't the other day, but I really did like hanging out with you. 

What did you have in mind?

Me. You. Me destroying you in Mario Kart. You crying. 

Oh, you're so on. 

-

Phil pushed the conversation with Pj to the back of his mind. He didn't like Dan in that way and his friend's words weren't going to ruin this evening. He was just interested in being Dan's friends, it wasn't as though he'd made many of those over the last few years. Another friend would be nice, more than nice.

Dan turned up at around seven, the pizza he promised the other day in hand along with a copy of Mario Kart that Phil immediately told him was unnecessary. 

''I have my own, who doesn't own Mario Kart?'' He gladly took the pizza, though. 

''I don't know! I thought maybe just in case. Maybe you'll get so angry that I'm better than you, Phil, that you'll break your own copy in a fit or rage and then where would we be?'' He asked, a small smile on his lips as Phil swatted his arm with his free hand. 

''You know, cockiness isn't very attractive.'' He dumped the box on the side as he dug out a couple of plates, handing one to Dan who looked at him like he'd lost his mind. ''What?''

''Eat it out of the fucking box, Phil, you know, like the rest of the world.'' He shoved the plate back at him, Phil very narrowly missing dropping it. ''I promise you won't get my germs.''

''Your germs are out to get me, I know that because you were sick on me.'' Phil put the plates back into the cupboard, instead letting Dan get his own way. He felt that may become a habit. 

''I said I was sorry, you can't throw it back in my face. Can't let my worst times.. I don't know where I'm going with this. You're just never allowed to mention my drunken antics ever again.'' Dan chucked him a grin as he left the kitchen, missing the way Phil fondly shook his head. 

''That's a bit unfair, Dan, I mean, that's our how we met story.'' He sat down on the sofa, watching as Dan took charge and set up the game. He was acting like he already owned the place and Phil found himself not minding. 

''We're not getting married, Phil.'' Dan laughed, a noise that Phil really was rather enamoured by. ''That's a story for a wedding day.''

''Speaking of weddings, how're you and your boyfriend?'' Phil almost, almost, let the name slip, but then he couldn't let Dan find out he'd been snooping. 

''Interesting segue.'' He joined Phil on the sofa, chucking the other remote into his lap. ''We're alright. We went for dinner.'' He was concentrating on the screen, the screen Phil should probably be watching. ''We're not engaged, though. So no weddings to speak of.'' 

''Right, but do you think he's the one?'' Phil was just curious because Dan was a new friend, not because of any other reason. Just a new and interesting friend. 

''I--'' Dan seemed stumped for once and Phil shouldn't have been happy about it, but he was. ''I met him at a freshers party. He looked after me because you know i'm not that good at being drunk. It just went from there, I guess. I didn't.. i'd never been with a man before. Through school I was like i'm definitely straight, then I grew up and got gay, apparently.'' 

''Got gay?'' Phil asked, not being able to stop a laugh of his own. 

''I don't know! I guess it was always in the back of my mind, y'know? But in school.. when it's full of immature dicks who constantly use the word gay as an insult, it's a bit hard to think about it, accept it. Once I was away from them and had room to breathe, I thought about it. Then yeah.. it wasn't something that was just in the back of my mind.'' Dan had turned away from the screen now, giving Phil his full attention, looking at him, considering. ''What about you?''

''What about me?'' Phil knew what he meant, really, but for some reason he wanted to hear Dan ask him. 

''Gay? Straight.. other?'' 

''Bi. I think. Definitely not straight, anyway.'' Phil met Dan's eyes, watched as they softened. 

''So that's the real reason you took me home.'' Dan was teasing, Phil knew that, but he still said what he said next. 

''I wouldn't ever. Not when you were drunk, not when you couldn't consent properly.'' Phil wondered if Dan would infer the hidden meaning beneath the words, that, yeah, he would've if Dan had been sober. 

''Right. No, 'course not.'' His attention was back on the screen now and Phil couldn't decide whether or not that was a good thing. 

-

''No! Fuck you, that was cheating!'' Dan was screaming at him now, Phil had just accidentally, definitely accidentally, elbowed Dan just as he was about to cross the finishing line. 

''It wasn't. I just happen to move my entire body when i'm really into a game.'' Phil had been just behind him, the blip in Dan's concentration giving him the time he needed to surpass him and win. 

''I can't believe you actually just did that. I would never have given you your jacket back if I knew you were a dirty little cheater.'' Dan was accusing and Phil was giggling. 

''Mhm, such a dramatic boy.'' He let his own remote slip from his hand, flinching a little when it hit the floor sooner than he'd expected it to. ''That was all or nothing, as we agreed, so, I win the last slice of pizza.''

Dan could move incredibly quickly when given the correct incentive. Before Phil could so much as move, Dan was up and shoving the entire slice into his mouth in protest. Phil had nothing to say, instead watching in abject fascination as Dan struggled to swallow. 

''Wow.'' Phil reached forwards to pick up a tissue, leaning in to wipe the sauce that had smeared across Dan's face during the ordeal. 

''You cheated.'' Dan finally managed to get out, sounding out of breath. 

''And you just did that.'' He couldn't find it within him to mad, just impressed. ''You have a really big mouth.''

Dan hummed, going crossed eyed as he'd watched Phil clean him up. ''This is becoming a bit of a regular thing, isn't it?''

''What?'' Phil asked, his voice had fallen to a whisper and he had no idea why. 

''You. You cleaning me up, sorting out my messes.'' His hand was suddenly around Phil's wrist, gently pulling him away. ''I'm a big boy, Phil, I can do it.''

''Oh- Sorry. Here.'' He handed Dan the tissues as his cheeks turned pink, a little embarrassed that he'd thought that was alright to do. Dan barely knew him, after-all.

''Phil. I was joking. If someone wants to clean me up then i'm all for it. I'm really, really lazy if you hadn't already noticed.'' Dan was giving him an odd look, probably wondering why he'd jumped away as though he'd been burnt. 

''I'm just gonna go pee.'' 

-

''You ok?'' Dan had switched it off, a bad tv show now playing in the background.

''Yeah, i'm fine. Just needed to pee.'' He sat back down, but now a considerable distance away from Dan. ''You ok?'' 

''Mhm, mouth hurts a bit.'' Dan had decided the distance wouldn't do, worming his way back over. ''Thanks for tonight. It was a fun. Apart from my boyfriend I don't really have that many friends here, so, yeah. I'm glad I met you.''

''I'm glad I met you, too, Dan, even under the circumstances.'' He didn't finish his sentence the way he'd wanted to because he could already tell Dan was getting prepared to cut him off.

''Still not our wedding day.'' He cut him off anyway.

''Mhm, still not our wedding day.'' 

-

Dan became a constant in Phil's life after that evening. An irritating constant.

If they weren't texting they were with each other, if they weren't with each other they were texting. 

Pj was his ever teasing self, constantly commenting on the way Phil dived for his phone whenever it went off, then the smile that followed when he saw it was from Dan. 

''Playing with fire, aren't you?'' Pj asked one night, the usual smile a look of concern. 

''We're just friends.'' Phil stated. Tone leaving no room for argument, but he knew Pj would argue with him anyway. 

''We're just friends and i'm certain i've never seen you act like this around me.'' He had a point, a point Phil wasn't willing to acknowledge. 

''We've only known each other for a couple of months, i'm still in that fun getting to know you phase. That's all.'' He stopped listening when Dan replied, missed Pj's sigh. 

-

If you have plans cancel them. -DH

For you? Na. -PL

You'd cancel your own birthday party for me. -DH

I forgot about your ego. -PL

You don't even have plans. -DH

... Correct. -PL

Good! I need to borrow you. -DH

Borrow me? I'm not an object, actual human being here. -PL

Phil. -DH

What for? -PL 

Are you free for the entire weekend? -DH

You already know the answer to that. -PL

Good. Cos I got us train tickets. -DH

Erm. To where? -PL

My .. area. -DH

That sounds weird, Dan. -PL

Ew, shutup. I have a wedding to go to and i'm allowed to bring a plus one. -DH

Your boyfriend? -PL

He's busy. -DH

So, i'm just an afterthough. -PL

Oh my god. Shutup and say yes. -DH

Fineeeeeeee. -PL

-

''It's so cold. It's so cold and it's your fault.'' They were stood on the platform, Phil running his hands up and down his arms in the attempt to build up some body heat. 

''It's not my fault. I don't control the weather. If I did i'd make sure it rained every time you stepped outside.'' Dan received another swat on the arm for that one.

''I'm doing you a favour here. Making sure you don't have to spend all weekend with weird family members you don't know that ask you if you've got a kid yet.'' He breathed out a sigh of relief when the train finally turned up, twenty minutes late. 

''Yeah.. about this weekend?'' Phil didn't like that, didn't like the sound of it at all. He was on Dan in an instant, hands on his shoulders, staring him down. 

''What have you not told me Daniel?'' 

''Well.. I said I was bringing my boyfriend and I didn't really tell my family the opposite when my actual boyfriend said he couldn't come. So..''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have not read this through, as usual, so sorry for any mistakes! will look through it in the future. Thanks for reading :-)


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